Confessions of A Young Mom

                                                        Confessions Of A Young Mom 

        I got pregnant with my first child when I was 18 years old, now in today's society that is not that young considering the fact that there are shows called, "16 & Pregnant."  But still pretty young to start creating human life by my standards.  I was a senior in high school and swore I had met my soul mate, the man of my dreams and who I would spend the rest of my life with.  Little did I know what a bullshit fairy tale I was telling myself.

        Fast forward about 8 years,  I now have 3 living children and 2 angel babies.  I graduated high school with a low G.P.A. because I let a man get in my way of my dreams and goals but I still managed to get my diploma.  I have been to college around 4 or 5 times with this last time being my last and final time to earn any kind of degree or certificate before I completely give up on the idea of a higher education.  I have A.D.D. and am very scatterbrained with a short fuse and an even shorter attention span.

        I love make up and talking to a camera but you will never see those embarrassing videos thankfully due to a magical invention known as the delete button.  I fell out of love with my Knight-in-tinfoil and all of the things that I thought made me, me.  I used to design clothes, write songs and poems, do a variety of arts & crafts, along with sewing & crocheting.  I read books upon books simply because they were better than people.    

        I now can no longer draw to save my life and can't rhyme anymore either.  I can still sew thanks to the help of a tax refund splurge of a sewing machine.  I own tons of kindle books and audible books but have barely read or listened in forever.  I let him take the me out of me and lost sight of my passions.  I felt that being a mom was more important than being in love with who I am.

        I lost myself to being this perfect mother and girlfriend but ended up losing myself in the process.  We had a butt load of problems that resulted in our separation but in reality we just were not meant to be together.  He was an eye opener that is for sure.  I learned a lot from our 6 year relationship and in that time I lost a lot.  Having children was never on my life agenda but when I held my oldest in my arms for the first time,  I could not believe I had never wanted a child.  He filled the holes in myself that I never even knew were there.

        I am in no way a perfect mom like the ones you see on T.V.  I am a southern born and raised, backwoods riding, pick-your-own switch kind of mommy.  My children have heard every swear word possible and know what "the look" means.  I threaten a butt whooping in a heart beat but rarely follow through.  Mostly due to laziness and because my children are just being kids.  They are 7, 4 and 3 years old so why not let them enjoy being young and care free while I have to share them with them horrible world.

        Wine is not drank in our house but a crown and coke can be found on a child free night.  Snack cakes are bought with abandon and toys are every where possible.  Beds are unmade and floors are sometimes sticky in random places.  No one is perfect and we are just trying to make it to the next day.  Trying to be like the moms on TV or on the internet will make you and your children miserable.

        There is no instruction manual handed to you the day you pop out a human being.  The What to Expect When You're Expecting books are hilarious.  Google will be your own worst enemy and you will become a couch M.D. way too quickly.  Do not believe everything you read about motherhood because your own version has not been written yet because you haven't wrote it.  Your child is a custom made teaching lesson designed to make you want to pull your own hair out and cry your eyes out over how much love you have for them the next instant.

        I will end this with a little motivation,  hang in there mommy it will get better and it will all be worth it.  You have a little life counting on you to keep going.  I believe in you and I'll be waiting on my couch with some Twinkies and a cold glass of crown and coke when you feel like giving up or giving in.  Tissues are a given and trashy romance books are required.

Much love xoxo